Monday, January 5, 2009

My Schizophrenic Selves

I could go in so many different directions here. I'm one that usually has a blog idea first in the form of an image, then a title, then usually don't know where I'm going from there.

I could say that I feel so schizophrenic because I can be such a moody person, one that can be controlled by emotions and circumstances if I allow them (and I do allow them too often).

Or I could say that I feel schizophrenic because I am so full of faith and doubt at the same time.

Or that in one breath I am at peace with the Lord, sensing a real rest in Him, enjoying life in the moment, and then in the next breath I am distraught over my job, my finances, the wars in the Middle East, economic and other crises around the globe, and let's throw in some end-times scenarios for good measure.

I guess they're all part of the same for me (and my other selves). So why do I feel so alone when I really know that I'm not? We all play a good game of, "I have it all together" don't we?

A good friend and brother asks me, "How do you do it, Dave? How is it you have such faith, peace, assurance?" To which I reply, "HA!, how little you know me... and how sorry I am for misleading you!"

If there's one thing I do have and you do as well, if you're one of those crazy people that keeps asking Jesus to make Himself real to you, I have, we have, this ongoing, consistent drive in us that, above all else, KNOWS in Whom we believe and KNOWS that WE ARE KNOWN by Him!

By the way... my dear brother and friend, Rich, and I had one of those seemingly schizo moments today. It was a boomerang of bad emotions that ended in peace, reconciliation, and a deeper love for one another. Please read this if you're so inclined. We are learning, on this journey together, what it means to have faith, doubt, fear, assurance, and everything in between. And discovering the reality of... all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. ROMANS 8:37-40
Amen, even so, come Lord Jesus... fill your Church, Your Body, with Yourself... and may it be to overflowing... may it be that we find that if we don't speak forth Your goodness the rocks will cry out. So let it be, Lord!



  1. Dave,

    Everything about this makes me smile from ear to ear, why, because of Who's you are, His!

    In a recent pod cast Darin Hufford was sharing about this type of thing you've shared here, what would be seen, understood as mind disorders such as being schizophrenic.

    In so many cases its a drug answer to bring in a stability for these 'out-of-order' people to live in a "normal" world, with "normal" people-Ha!

    My view of this not being a medical professional but having been one who was ruled by depression coming from a family history of intense genius and madness, before I knew the Lord and sadly long after coming to Christ, has now slowly begun to level out, why, only because of the reality of Being Loved!

    It's like our precious puppy Atticus, he will be two this February and according to our Vet, he will be biologically ready if we choose to have him neutered. Why would we go that route, well he is one of the most hyper dogs ever, and have been told that after the “procedure” he will then Be very NICE!

    Through medicine and being neutered we can provide some very nice people, but the potential for any more creativity and wonder, will like wise be replaced with a dull gray drabness to these now “nice” people.

    You ARE HIS!

  2. Richardo, mon frere et mon ami.... this is good stuff indeed. We are learning, I think, even to accept our "mental disorders." Let's face it... everyone on the planet who ever lived, save for Jesus, can claim a dysfunction! We are a broken people that only Jesus can heal and that is and was the intent all along... restoration and reconciliation. Wonderful it is to receive and to be given the privilege to share in likewise with one another!

    And, by the way, niceness is so over-rated, isn't it?!

    Much love to you.

  3. Hey Dave,
    Glad to know I'm not the only schizo out there!
    Yeah, we sure like to act like we got it all together. But, thankfully, he's breaking me of that... slowly but surely. Glad you and Rich worked thru whatever it was, and have hopefully moved to another dimension.

    I'm just touched to hear that you guys seem to be relating on a raw and real basis - no facades. That's hard to come by these days. So much of life operates from facades.

    I wish you peace, dear brother, as we become more and more cemented in the absolute love of our Papa, especially in the midst of all the turmoil and unknowns in the world.

    Maybe you men even have it a little rougher, since you guys have to provide for the family, too. I don't tend to worry about the economy, but right now, it's not me who has to bring home the bacon, either.

    You're realness is a blessing to me. Now, go with Papa... He'll lead you on.

  4. Wow, Rich, just read your comment here.

    Yeah, I guess the world would love us to all walk around neutered and in a gray fog of commonality.

    Hmm... doesn't religion do the same... maybe just a different flavor of fog, but neutered, all the same.

    Thank Papa, He can actually reverse the procedure in us kids! :)